Back-talk, eye-rolling, disrespectful huffs and puffs – if you are Mommy to a teenager, then these are probably very familiar experiences for you! It seems like almost over night, the preteen that thought you were Super Mom turns into a stranger who hates doing what their told and never seem to listen to you at all!
Disrespect can be very frustrating – and it leaves all moms wondering if they were ever THAT bad when they were kids! If you ask your mom, you probably were! There are many reasons why girls can become rebellious in their teens. Hormonal changes can play havoc on their emotions, they might suddenly feel the need to establish their independent identity – one that their mom can’t dictate, they could be imitating badly behaved peers, or they may simply be seeking attention!
Mom Ketaki came to us with a query about how her loving daughter has turned into a rebellious teen who answers every question with a resounding “NO!” Ketaki has started losing her patience and shouting at her daughter, which in turn makes her feel guilty and wish things were okay between her and her princess again!
Shweta Bhardwaj is of the opinion that her daughter is going through a phase when her body and emotions are affected by hormonal changes. She says, “Your daughter must be in a confused state and considers herself as grown up. You should treat her like an adult but with softness in your tone. Be friendly and motivate her to share her feelings with you.”
Pratibha Gautam thinks that Ketaki should give her daughter the freedom she desires – if only for a few days! She says, “Ask why she is behaving this way. Talk to her like a friend, and respect and support her even when she acts out. Give her some freedom for a few days – this way she will know you trust her and stop behaving badly after a few days.”
Pushpita Baruah says, “Support her even if she is wrong but when you get a moment alone with your daughter, talk to her in a friendly way to make her understand where she is going wrong. This is the age when children never listen if you tell them to do something in front of others. They feel as though you are commanding them and they resist your requests. Have some quality time with your daughter, and connect with her again!”
Dias Anissia has, perhaps, the best idea of all! Love her more and more, no matter how badly she behaves! She says, “Hug her more often! Start the morning with a soft hug and call her by a sweet nickname that she loved as a child! Ask for her help. Say that you want to finish some work, but you don’t know how and ask her to help you out. Take her advice and that evening, when she returns home from school, tell her the idea she gave you worked – with hugs and kisses as toppings! When she feels you are a good listener, she will be very comfortable talking to you!”
We hope our Mommy advice has helped Ketaki find a solution. We hope she and her daughter find a way to peacefully and happily get through the terrifying teenage years!
We thank all the SOS moms who came to Ketaki’s rescue:
Shweta Bhardwaj, Pratibha Gautam, Puspita Baruah, Dias Anissia.