You’ve tucked your child into bed, after a long day juggling work, family and the infinite pressures of parenthood. You kiss your son goodnight, turn off the light and head off to snuggle into the comfort of your own bed. And suddenly, you hear it. The steady “thump, thump, thump” coming from your son’s room!
What would you do if your son or daughter started banging their head repeatedly? A worried mom came to us with this very query. Her son bangs his head on the floor, on surfaces, on walls and she’s quite at her wits end! Scolding him or banning him from doing so has never worked, and she asks if anyone has a solution for her!
Mariyam Sufi J A says, “Even my baby does this..actually loves doing this! He bangs his head to the walls, chairs, sofa, bed, mattress…to just anything! It’s quite a common occurance in children and you should not worry about it. He will grow out of it soon!”
Almost 20% of babies go through the head banging phase, banging their heads on surfaces on purpose. When your precious baby suddenly bangs his head on the wall, it will surely look scary and disturbing! But it’s usually nothing to worry about as in most cases, babies under 3 years cannot even generate enough force to injure themselves.
Head banging is just a normal part of a baby or toddler’s behavior. Sometimes when babies feel angry and frustrated, they don’t know how to deal with these emotions and use head banging to relieve stress. Some doctors even group head banging into the same category as thumb-sucking – a self soothing technique to calm themselves down.
However, it’s a good idea to keep an eye on how often your child bangs his head and how intensely he does it, and report this to your doctor. Most pediatricians advise parents not to interfere when your child’s banging his head. Kids don’t intentionally hurt themselves and should stop if it becomes painful. Most children under 3 can’t generate enough force to seriously injure themselves anyway.
While head-banging can be a symptom of developmental issues, it’s usually only a problem if it continues beyond age 4 and occurs along with other troubling behaviors, such as repetitive motions (like hand-flapping and rocking), developmental delays, and a lack of social interaction with parents and peers. If your child is otherwise healthy and happy, there’s probably no reason to be concerned.
We hope our Mommy advice has helped this Worried Mom out. We hope her son grows out of his habit soon!
Thank you Mariyam Sufi J A, for coming to the worried mom’s rescue!
Back-talk, eye-rolling, disrespectful huffs and puffs – if you are Mommy to a teenager, then these are probably very familiar experiences for you! It seems like almost over night, the preteen that thought you were Super Mom turns into a stranger who hates doing what their told and never seem to listen to you at all!
Disrespect can be very frustrating – and it leaves all moms wondering if they were ever THAT bad when they were kids! If you ask your mom, you probably were! There are many reasons why girls can become rebellious in their teens. Hormonal changes can play havoc on their emotions, they might suddenly feel the need to establish their independent identity – one that their mom can’t dictate, they could be imitating badly behaved peers, or they may simply be seeking attention!
Mom Ketaki came to us with a query about how her loving daughter has turned into a rebellious teen who answers every question with a resounding “NO!” Ketaki has started losing her patience and shouting at her daughter, which in turn makes her feel guilty and wish things were okay between her and her princess again!
Shweta Bhardwaj is of the opinion that her daughter is going through a phase when her body and emotions are affected by hormonal changes. She says, “Your daughter must be in a confused state and considers herself as grown up. You should treat her like an adult but with softness in your tone. Be friendly and motivate her to share her feelings with you.”
Pratibha Gautam thinks that Ketaki should give her daughter the freedom she desires – if only for a few days! She says, “Ask why she is behaving this way. Talk to her like a friend, and respect and support her even when she acts out. Give her some freedom for a few days – this way she will know you trust her and stop behaving badly after a few days.”
Pushpita Baruah says, “Support her even if she is wrong but when you get a moment alone with your daughter, talk to her in a friendly way to make her understand where she is going wrong. This is the age when children never listen if you tell them to do something in front of others. They feel as though you are commanding them and they resist your requests. Have some quality time with your daughter, and connect with her again!”
Dias Anissia has, perhaps, the best idea of all! Love her more and more, no matter how badly she behaves! She says, “Hug her more often! Start the morning with a soft hug and call her by a sweet nickname that she loved as a child! Ask for her help. Say that you want to finish some work, but you don’t know how and ask her to help you out. Take her advice and that evening, when she returns home from school, tell her the idea she gave you worked – with hugs and kisses as toppings! When she feels you are a good listener, she will be very comfortable talking to you!”
We hope our Mommy advice has helped Ketaki find a solution. We hope she and her daughter find a way to peacefully and happily get through the terrifying teenage years!
We thank all the SOS moms who came to Ketaki’s rescue:
Shweta Bhardwaj, Pratibha Gautam, Puspita Baruah, Dias Anissia.
Constipation is a very common concern among the moms of toddlers. Some of the common causes of constipation in toddlers are toilet anxiety, dehydration and diet. Swati’s two and half your old child has the problem and she came to SOS moms for their advice on the same. Let’s take a look at what our SOS moms have to say to Swati.
Moms Noopur Agarwal, Sowjanaya Kumar, Tanuja Karunakar, Anita Rankar, Shaveta Rahajan, Ritu Mishra Tripathi Sahrvani Aneel, Leena Parikh, Ameena Sayeed, Deepshikha Das, Sakshi Batra, Tanushree Ganguli and Sayonee Mishra all agree that Swati’s little one should be given ripe bananas and papaya in different forms to ease his problem. Both banana and papaya are rich in fibre and can help with constipation. These two fruits can also be given in the form of milk shakes, juice and any other form to make them seem less boring to your active bub.
Also moms like Tanushree Ganguli, Jyoti Kapil, Mridula Shirwali, agree that spinach and greens will help Swati’s child to a great extent.
Moms Sneha Satam, Sathya Ramu, Srividya Mushunuru suggest Swati to feed that the child should be fed black raisins soaked in water every morning. Chetana Suvarana Ganatara suggests that a porridge made of oats and prunes (packed with fibre) will help. Shanti Gupta says dried figs soaked in water overnight will also work wonders.
Preeti Khanna and Manasi Joshi suggest that the little one should be given milk with two drops of ghee in it. Milk may cause constipation but milk with ghee has a reverse impact. Sweta Bharadwaj, Sonia Sonu pipe in with their suggestion of feeding the tot with curd regularly.
Diana Samuel says, “Try 1/2 tsp honey in 1/2 tsp warm water on empty stomach in the morning. It worked for my child when she had severe constipation. Note: water must be warm not too hot nor cold. Give him lots of warm water throughout the day. Hope it might help.” Harsha Rajiv suggests, “ Water intake should be increased. Fruit juice, fresh fruits in puree form is also effective. Fibrous food like palak and other greens in soup can be given. Also Palak kichdi, carrot soup, carrot milkshake etc work. Do include greens in your baby’s diet at least once a week.
Other SOS moms also agree that Swati’s little one should be given warm water throughout the day in equal intervals. Also the child should be made to sit on his potty seat everyday even if he doesn’t pass stool to build a habit. Constipation can be easily resolved with a few key changes in diet and momma’s care of course!
We thank all the SOS moms who rushed in to aid Swati with her problem:
Tanushree Ganguli, Jyoti Kapil, Mridula Shirwali, Noopur Agarwal, Sowjanaya Kumar, Tanuja Karunakar, Anita Rankar, Shaveta Rahajan, Ritu Mishra Tripathi, Sahrvani Aneel, Leena Parikh, Ameena Sayeed, Deepshikha Das, Sakshi Batra, Tanushree Ganguli and Sayonee Mishra, Sneha Satam, Sathya Ramu, Srividya Mushunuru, Harsha Rajiv, Diana Samuel, Pratibha Gautam, Swati Agarwal, Shama Mittal, Nausheen Sharieff, Amrita Singh, Sarika Singh, Dia Bijlani, Namrata Mandowara, Chetna Ganatara, Bindiya Yadav, Sakshi Batra, Simpy Jalan and Reema Verma.
Seema Shetty wrote to us about a concern she has for her child, her son refuses to go to play school and throws tantrums when he is in the playschool. She is worried and asked us to advice her on the same.
We asked our community of moms for their suggestions to help solve Seema’s problem and have included their advice below.
It is quite normal for some children to resist a new environment like playschool. Many of them suffer from separation anxiety when taken away from their parents. Usually this fear goes away in a few weeks, but you can help your child adjust to new environment by introducing him to it gradually.
Spend some time along with him in the playschool so that he realises it is not something to be afraid of. Allow him to become familiar with his new surroundings and the new people in his life before you leave. Once he starts to have interact with his new classmates and have fun with them, he will not mind your absence as much.
Ask the teacher to entice him with play, toys and fun activities so he knows that it is a fun place to be. Soon he will begin to look forward to his time in school and with his friends.
We are grateful to the parents below for their input.
Pooja Sandhu Choudhuri, Aditi Jagtap Deshmukh, Cristyl Murray, Insiya Makda, Insiya Makda
Although tantrums are part of daily life with most toddlers, they are much less frequent with some. However, you can definitely prevent many meltdowns by organizing your toddler’s life so that they end up throwing fewer tantrums.
Why Toddlers Have Meltdowns
Parents need to understand that, as your little baby grows and explores their world, they begin to realise that more and more things are within their control. They are also naturally exploring their limits and those of their caregivers. There is a reason why the Terrible Twos deserve that name.
Tantrums or meltdowns are a natural process of your toddler gaining more independence and control over their functions and actions. Parents should not take these meltdowns personally, but instead avoid creating situations that can exacerbate them, such as when your child is tired, hungry or just cranky.
It isn’t easy to deal with tantrums, but there are few tricks which could help you deal with such scenarios. The key is to get inside their little heads and outfox them before you get to the stage of failing to win with grown-up logic.
Don’t Lose Your Cool
A tantrum is definitely not a pretty sight. Kicking, screaming, pounding the floor, throwing and hitting things are quite common among toddlers. If you find yourself getting frustrated, then just calmly leave the room for a few minutes and return to your child after they have stopped crying. By keeping your cool, you will help your child to calm down too.
Bring Out The Toys
One of the many reasons why kids don’t always want to do what you ask them to do is because they are engrossed in what they are already doing. For example, a child who doesn’t have any underlying bath time issues might ignore you if you ask them to take a bath; yet would come along willingly when you ask them which toys they would like to take along. The same works for going from bath to bed or for any other matter.
Don’t Try Reasoning
Trying to approach a child’s anger logically will not work. Toddlers are not logical creatures and when they are in the middle of their tantrum, talking is not going to work. Thus, the best possible thing to do would be to divert their attention from what it is that is upsetting them. For example, try giving them a hug or a toy to distract them. As toddlers generally have very short attention spans, it just might work.
Cut Down On Junk Food
Certain foods can make your little angels turn into complete rascals. For example, sweets generally trigger blood sugar fluctuations which can cause mood swings and caffeine in drinks makes them hyper. Avoid sugary foods and never give your child energy drinks, tea or coffee.
If your child’s tantrums seem to be occurring on a frequent basis or if they are hurting themselves or other people, then seek help from an expert. The expert would be able to discuss your child’s behavior with you at routine checkups, help figure out reasons for such behavior and ways to deal with it.
Image courtesy of Clare Bloomfield / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
While the little one uses the bathroom to urinate he refuses to use it to go potty and instead defecates on the floor. Pooja is worried about this unhygienic habit and has asked for your advice.
We asked our community of Moms for advice and these are the suggestions they gave us.
Try to get an idea of the timings when your child needs to go on the potty. Then give them a glass of lukewarm milk 15 to 20 minutes before.
Get your child an attractive and comfortable potty seat. When you put them on the potty or toilet, take their favourite toys along and keep them occupied by telling them their favourite stories, perhaps of their favourite cartoon character going on the potty. 🙂
You could also read them some books on potty-training to get them interested. You can even let them sit on it in front of the TV initially.
Get them used to sitting on the potty every time they need to go, or you could even put them on it every hour. Let them sit on it until they are done, and repeat this routine for a week.
If you feel that it might be tough to get them to go on the big toilet once they get used to this, it might be a good idea to get them used to the toilet – with an add-on baby seat – from the start.
Try explaining to your child that if he goes potty on the floor, then he can’t eat or play there as it will be dirty. Kids do understand if you explain it to them calmly.
Many kids learn by watching older kids do it as they love to imitate their older siblings or cousins. You could also show them YouTube videos of kids going on the potty. You could also put his favourite toy or teddy on the potty first, and then ask the child if they would like to try it.
If all else fails, try looking for a potty-training class and enrol your child in one. You could even conduct a class in your home with the neighbour’s kids. Your child will most likely learn by watching them.
The earlier you start training your child, the better. It will take time and patience, but it’s worth it in the end.
Thanks to all these great moms for their advice.
Chetana Jahagirdar, Papiya Dawn, Narinder Kaur Hanspal, Minal Sampat Ashar, Salman Hasan, Lavanya Reddy, Narinder Kaur Hanspal, Payal Jain, Preet Kaur, Jayshree Banerjee, Manisha Birla Maheshwari, Kiran Sopori Bhan, Sherina Lask, Mukteshwari Pawar, Jas Saini, Sapna Ahuja, Deepa Karthick, Simran Chhatwal, Paulraj Marichamy, Smita Khatri Kapoor, Sudeshna Patnaik, Monika D Chowdhry, Raminder Kaur, Nishu Imran, Suji Arun, Rashmi Kabibar Padhan, Bindu Satish, Aanand Jasuja.
We asked all the special mommies and daddies out there to share their expert advice to help her. Here’s what we got:
- My son is 10months now. I give him tamarind chutney in between his food, he likes the taste. Don’t feed too much, just a little bit should do – says mum Akhila Kasturi
- You may be feeding baby-food that is thick. Dilute it and he will Continue reading →