Your little angel has a new best friend – her imaginary friend! They are inseparable and play all their games together. But suddenly her fun buddy has started acting bad! Melvin came to us with this issue!
His 4 year old daughter Avni has imaginary friend called Neha. While they usually get along well and play in peace, sometimes Avni starts crying because she claims Neha has slapped her! Melvin is understandably upset and came to our SOS Moms for help!
Many a times you hear of kids claiming that their “imaginary friend did it” when they break something or play a prank. This is because children sometimes use their “friends” to try out naughty behaviour and see what it’s like to be bad or reckless while avoiding the consequences.
However, if your kids’ imaginary friends suddenly take on a violent persona, and seem to harm your kids rather than household objects, it could be a sign of something going wrong in your child’s eyes.
For example, if Avni is crying because her imaginary friend has hit her, it could be her way of telling you that a friend at preschool has hit her. This is not a rule, of course! We advice that you speak to her calmly and clearly and ask why “Neha” is suddenly being mean to her. It is also important that Avni meet a pediatrician or a psychiatrist to help diagnose the root of the problem.
Here’s what our SOS Moms had to say:
Noopur Agarwal, “This seems to be a serious problem, please consult a child psychiatric ASAP! Imaginary friends should not get violent with their real life buddies!”
Nithya Prasad, “I had a friend with similar problem in childhood. But he is fine now. Definitely consult a psychologist. But don’t be very apprehensive. Stay calm when you speak to Avni about it as she will be able to sense your fear. Take care!”
Neetu Vishal Sharda, “I think u should consult a reputed psychiatrist. Don’t get me wrong but I think this is not common. And don’t waste your time thinking about it – do it as soon as possible. It is always better to be safe than sorry!”
We hope our Mommy advice has helped Melvin out! We thank all the SOS moms who came to Melvin’s rescue:
Noopur Agarwal, Nithya Prasad, Neetu Vishal Sharda.
You’ve tucked your child into bed, after a long day juggling work, family and the infinite pressures of parenthood. You kiss your son goodnight, turn off the light and head off to snuggle into the comfort of your own bed. And suddenly, you hear it. The steady “thump, thump, thump” coming from your son’s room!
What would you do if your son or daughter started banging their head repeatedly? A worried mom came to us with this very query. Her son bangs his head on the floor, on surfaces, on walls and she’s quite at her wits end! Scolding him or banning him from doing so has never worked, and she asks if anyone has a solution for her!
Mariyam Sufi J A says, “Even my baby does this..actually loves doing this! He bangs his head to the walls, chairs, sofa, bed, mattress…to just anything! It’s quite a common occurance in children and you should not worry about it. He will grow out of it soon!”
Almost 20% of babies go through the head banging phase, banging their heads on surfaces on purpose. When your precious baby suddenly bangs his head on the wall, it will surely look scary and disturbing! But it’s usually nothing to worry about as in most cases, babies under 3 years cannot even generate enough force to injure themselves.
Head banging is just a normal part of a baby or toddler’s behavior. Sometimes when babies feel angry and frustrated, they don’t know how to deal with these emotions and use head banging to relieve stress. Some doctors even group head banging into the same category as thumb-sucking – a self soothing technique to calm themselves down.
However, it’s a good idea to keep an eye on how often your child bangs his head and how intensely he does it, and report this to your doctor. Most pediatricians advise parents not to interfere when your child’s banging his head. Kids don’t intentionally hurt themselves and should stop if it becomes painful. Most children under 3 can’t generate enough force to seriously injure themselves anyway.
While head-banging can be a symptom of developmental issues, it’s usually only a problem if it continues beyond age 4 and occurs along with other troubling behaviors, such as repetitive motions (like hand-flapping and rocking), developmental delays, and a lack of social interaction with parents and peers. If your child is otherwise healthy and happy, there’s probably no reason to be concerned.
We hope our Mommy advice has helped this Worried Mom out. We hope her son grows out of his habit soon!
Thank you Mariyam Sufi J A, for coming to the worried mom’s rescue!
Sweets, diyas, presents and lanterns! But Diwali wouldn’t be complete without it’s most important tradition – firecrackers! But firecrackers come with drawbacks of their own! Sparks, excessive smoke and pollutants from your favourite patakas can harm not only you, but also the baby in your belly!
Mommy-to-be Soumya came to us wondering whether the loud noises of her Diwali firecrackers can have an adverse effect on her unborn baby.
While your baby will certainly suffer if you are frequently exposed to loud noises during pregnancy, there is no indication that exposure to occasional loud noises, like firecrackers during Diwali, will cause harm to the baby in your womb.
However, doctors recommend that pregnant women steer clear of over-exuberant celebrations as they could tire them out. Muffling the ears with cotton balls or ear muffs can prevent ear damage and tinnitus – the ringing you feel in your ears after exposure to loud noises.
FirstCry mommy Swati Thakur came to Soumya’s aid. She says, “I celebrated Diwali when I was 5 months pregnant. We burst firecrackers, but not too much. I highly recommend you avoid the ones with loud sounds.”
Neha Gaurav says, “My Gynecologist advised me to stay at home, and keep away from loud noises. However that advice was more to do with pollution as both the smoke in the air and the noise can adversely affect the foetus.”
We hope our Mommy advice has helped Soumya out! We hope she finds a way to celebrate Diwali to the fullest – but in a safe and secure way!
We thank all the SOS moms who came to Soumya’s rescue:
Neha Gaurav, Swati Thakur.
“Mommy, my tooth is loose!”
Every Mom with a 5-6 year old expects to hear this statement! But what happens when your little one’s teeth are still rock steady? When all of your daughters friends have begun losing milk teeth, and your angel’s teeth are still in place – should you be worried?
Mom Anita came to us worried about her daughter’s dental health. Her precocious 6 year old’s milk teeth show no signs of making way for permanent teeth! When all of her friends are proudly showing off gaps in their smiles, she is the odd one out! Anita is worried that her daughter isn’t developing the way she should and asked the FirstCry Mommies for their help!
Priyanka Pareek says that it is completely normal for a child to retain her milk teeth at 6 years of age! The general rule is that the younger your child is when her teeth come in, the earlier they will fall out! Some children lose their first tooth as early as 4 years of age or even as late as 7 years.
Noopur Agarwal agrees. She says, “Don’t worry at all my daughter is about to be 7 and her first teeth just fell out a few days ago!” There is probably nothing wrong – as some kids even reach the age of 8 years before losing a tooth!
Kaveri Arora Wadhwa advices that Anita should definitely consult both the pediatrician and the dentist – since the issue has her so worried! Get an X-ray done at the dentist’s to make sure there are no underlying problems!
Robe Samarth Gaonkar says, “You have to worry if her teeth are damaged in any way. Tooth decay is more important than worrying about something like baby teeth not falling out, which is not so important in the long run.”
Dooradarsini Sonita meanwhile recommends a healthy dose of calcium to ensure better tooth health!
We thank all the SOS moms who came to Anita’s rescue:
Priyanka Pareek, Noopur Agarwal, Kaveri Arora Wadhwa, Robe Samarth Gaonkar, Dooradarsini Sonita.
Constipation is a very common concern among the moms of toddlers. Some of the common causes of constipation in toddlers are toilet anxiety, dehydration and diet. Swati’s two and half your old child has the problem and she came to SOS moms for their advice on the same. Let’s take a look at what our SOS moms have to say to Swati.
Moms Noopur Agarwal, Sowjanaya Kumar, Tanuja Karunakar, Anita Rankar, Shaveta Rahajan, Ritu Mishra Tripathi Sahrvani Aneel, Leena Parikh, Ameena Sayeed, Deepshikha Das, Sakshi Batra, Tanushree Ganguli and Sayonee Mishra all agree that Swati’s little one should be given ripe bananas and papaya in different forms to ease his problem. Both banana and papaya are rich in fibre and can help with constipation. These two fruits can also be given in the form of milk shakes, juice and any other form to make them seem less boring to your active bub.
Also moms like Tanushree Ganguli, Jyoti Kapil, Mridula Shirwali, agree that spinach and greens will help Swati’s child to a great extent.
Moms Sneha Satam, Sathya Ramu, Srividya Mushunuru suggest Swati to feed that the child should be fed black raisins soaked in water every morning. Chetana Suvarana Ganatara suggests that a porridge made of oats and prunes (packed with fibre) will help. Shanti Gupta says dried figs soaked in water overnight will also work wonders.
Preeti Khanna and Manasi Joshi suggest that the little one should be given milk with two drops of ghee in it. Milk may cause constipation but milk with ghee has a reverse impact. Sweta Bharadwaj, Sonia Sonu pipe in with their suggestion of feeding the tot with curd regularly.
Diana Samuel says, “Try 1/2 tsp honey in 1/2 tsp warm water on empty stomach in the morning. It worked for my child when she had severe constipation. Note: water must be warm not too hot nor cold. Give him lots of warm water throughout the day. Hope it might help.” Harsha Rajiv suggests, “ Water intake should be increased. Fruit juice, fresh fruits in puree form is also effective. Fibrous food like palak and other greens in soup can be given. Also Palak kichdi, carrot soup, carrot milkshake etc work. Do include greens in your baby’s diet at least once a week.
Other SOS moms also agree that Swati’s little one should be given warm water throughout the day in equal intervals. Also the child should be made to sit on his potty seat everyday even if he doesn’t pass stool to build a habit. Constipation can be easily resolved with a few key changes in diet and momma’s care of course!
We thank all the SOS moms who rushed in to aid Swati with her problem:
Tanushree Ganguli, Jyoti Kapil, Mridula Shirwali, Noopur Agarwal, Sowjanaya Kumar, Tanuja Karunakar, Anita Rankar, Shaveta Rahajan, Ritu Mishra Tripathi, Sahrvani Aneel, Leena Parikh, Ameena Sayeed, Deepshikha Das, Sakshi Batra, Tanushree Ganguli and Sayonee Mishra, Sneha Satam, Sathya Ramu, Srividya Mushunuru, Harsha Rajiv, Diana Samuel, Pratibha Gautam, Swati Agarwal, Shama Mittal, Nausheen Sharieff, Amrita Singh, Sarika Singh, Dia Bijlani, Namrata Mandowara, Chetna Ganatara, Bindiya Yadav, Sakshi Batra, Simpy Jalan and Reema Verma.
It is crazy to go back to work after maternity leaves. Like, the last time your coworkers saw you, you had a happy baby bump,but now, you’re all flat out, dark circles and all. We feel you fellow mommas, we know what it is leave your baby and fight off the guilt that is steadily creeping up your throat. One major worrying factor for all new moms returning to work is – How Do I Store my Breast Milk? After all, your little cherub needs it and it is the best gift you can give your child.
Now, the women who want/need to work, take a minute to bless science, because science has given you this wondrous, wow worthy thing called the breast pump. These little gifts from technology lets mothers pump their milk out and store it for their baby’s care takers to feed the little one whenever necessary.
One such new mom Veena is returning to work and she came running to us to ask us how she should store her breast milk and our unfailing SOS moms have come to our rescue.
Anisha Rodrigues Pinto hurried in to help Veena, “Well if you are starting work you can always start combining breast and bottle milk ( i.e. more times breast milks and fewer times bottle milk( supplement). But as you mentioned you want to know about breast milk, which is the best to give your baby. Here is what I know. Well, expressing of breast milk can be done in three ways: 1) hand, 2) using a hand pump (available on firstcry.com), 3) using an electrical pump (available on firstcry.com). If you get heavy milk supply it will be quite easy for you to express by hand specially in the morning. However if you find it difficult ask help from doctor or experienced people to teach you or show you in either of the above 3 ways mentioned. At times expressing by hand can also take a long time in this case the pumps are helpful. You must express your milk in sterilised bottle (available on firstcry.com), which can then be capped and stored in the fridge. Don’t keep it longer than 24 hours. See that it’s frozen as soon as possible. Melt frozen milk and use at once. Never refreeze. You can also keep it in fridge for 5 to 6 hours (in case u get a break and can rush home and get back to work).”
Sonal Maner shared her experience of returning to work when her daughter was just three months old, “Use an electric breast pump to extract milk and store in special sterilised bags in d freezer. Use Medela breast pump and bags, they are the best. You can store milk in the freezer for up to 3 moths after extracting, remove from freezer 45 mins before feed time and keep the bag/bottle in hot water so it can warm up. Do not open d bag/bottle until the baby is ready to be fed. I joined work wen my daughter was just 3 months and used to feed her extracted breast milk until she was 1.5 yrs.” Medela Breast Pumps on FirstCry.com are available here.”
Neha Gaurav puts in her useful tips, “You can use manual breast pump instead of electric one. After extracting milk you can keep it at room temp (27 degrees) for 4 to 6 hours in the refrigerator (towards the corner of tray) for 24 hrs in sterilised bottles only. After taking out the milk from refrigerator , keep the bottle in a pan of warm water for few minutes so that it comes to room temp. But make sure u do not bring the milk in direct contact of heat (gas flame)”.
Noopur Agarwal also reminded us to instruct the care taker, “With an automatic breast pump you can extract all the milk in morning before going to office, then store the milk in sterilised baby bottles and refrigerate them. Tell the person who will be feeding the baby to take out the bottle half an hour before feeding the baby”.
Radhika Varun Soni also reiterated the best method to store breast milk, “You can use breast pump of your choice n refrigerate the milk in sterilized bottle and warm the bottle in hot water just minutes before he is to be fed.”
A lot of advice comes in the way of new moms, but the best ones are from peers who have been mothers themselves. Being a working mom can bring whole host of challenges, but it is also a really satisfying role to play.
We would also like to extend our thanks to the moms who came to Veena’s rescue:
Sonal Maner, Noopur Agarwal, Radhika Varun Soni and Neha Gaurav.
Mahima Verma expressed her concern about her little one year old angel who initially started enjoying juice in her sipper but now refuses to drink water and wants juice instead, all the time. She wants to know if juice is good for her at this age.
We put forward this issue for our SOS mom community to weigh in and are glad to have received a list of tips and advice to help mommy Mahima overcome her problem.
FirstCry says: Toddlers tend to over-consume fruit juices simply because they are sweet in taste. While juices are known to be beneficial for health, they can also be harmful if over-consumed. According to the AAP(American Academy of Pediatrics), the quantity of juice that an infant, 6 to 12 months, can consume is 120ml to 170ml. Toddlers and Preschoolers aged 1 to 6 years also, shouldn’t consume more than 170 ml per day.
Moreover, juices should be offered to kids in a cup and not a bottle. Prolonged exposure of teeth to the sugar in juices may lead to tooth decay or a cavity, says mom Sindhu Anand and Nimisha Sinha.
Avantika Gidh writes that too much fruit juice may also lead to diarrhoea, so mums need to be careful with the quantity.
A few tips to increase your baby’s water intake over juice are:
- Dilute the juice with water and gradually increase the water ratio to the juice ratio.
- Add Glucon D or ORS to water to give it a flavour. You can also boil the water with some cumin seeds (jeera), it changes the color and flavor of water and enhances the quality of voice.
If none of the above works, then you’ve got to make water drinking a fun activity for your toddler ;). Encourage her to have a competition of finishing water first with you. Or, simply buy her a special new cup, give her company in drinking water and say “Cheers!” before starting, says mom Poonam Ganesh.
We thank all the Mommies of our community for sparing their precious time to give their valuable responses:
Sarah Singh, Annanya Jha, Poonam Ganesh, Yogita Chand, Sakshi Abbey Bhatnagar, Sona Rohilla, Mahira Patel, Avantika Gidh, Janki Shah, Sudha Thavamaniraja, Kam La, Smriti Sharma, Sindu Anand, Sultana Parween, Lipsy Pattnayak, Shruti Gulati Rathore, Sudeshna Patnaik, Akanksha Malhotra Maggo, Madhumita Kar Gupta, Nimisha Sinha, Vidita Tayal
Aspecial mention to Subir Ranjan Das, a father.
Swati Iyer wrote to us and told us about a concern she has for her 1 year old son who refuses to let her clean his teeth. She is worried that her child will start getting cavities and wants advice on how to teach him to follow good dental hygiene.
We asked our community of mothers to weigh in on this issue and have included their responses below.
At this age a child may have only a few teeth and may not be ready for brushing his teeth. It takes about three years for the complete set of teeth to come in. However, you can introduce the concept of dental hygiene with gentle rubbing on his teeth using a clean finger and a soft cotton cloth.
You may think that because these baby teeth are destined to fall out anyway, they don’t matter. But that’s not true because they act as guides for our permanent teeth which may not come in properly if the baby teeth are lost due to cavities and decay.
Dental hygiene is an important concept to teach our kids because a large number of children have cavities by the time they are in kindergarten. This is primarily due to diets that include too many sweets and poor dental hygiene.
Some kids may be defiant about not allowing you to clean their teeth. You can get a soft Baby Training Toothbrush that is fun for your baby to use. Also allow your baby to see you and your spouse brushing your teeth so that they want to imitate you.
You can read your child some children’s books that discuss the importance of keeping one’s teeth clean. Show them some funny videos, like the one about the adventures of Dr. Rabbit and the Tooth Defenders from Colgate. You can also devise some fun activities or games to play while brushing so your kids learn to associate it with fun. Never mind if it gets a little messy at times.
Each child will have their own time table of when they will learn to use a brush or allow you to clean their teeth. Be patient with your child and be consistent in teaching them to keep their teeth clean. Don’t use toothpaste until your child is old enough to rinse and spit it out.
Our thanks go out to the parents below for their advice and suggestions.
Janki Shah, Lipsa Das, InderpreetKaur, AditiJagtapDeshmukh, ShilpaKhandelwal, Rosalin Mishra, ViditaTayal
Image courtesy of Sura Nualpradid / FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
Pooja Rai wrote to us and told us about a concern she has for her 15 months old son. She says that her son does not sleep the whole night. She has tried everything but there is no change in this habit. She is concerned and has asked us for some advice.
We asked our community of mothers for their suggestions and have incorporated their answers below.
Setting a bedtime routine may be the best way to get your child to go to bed without a fuss. Ensure that your child is active and playful all day and don’t let him sleep for too long in the daytime, so that he is tired and ready for bed at night.
Remove any distractions like television and bright lights from his environment just before you start his bedtime routine.
You can set a bedtime routine that includes a soothing massage and warm bath at night. A good dinner and a glass of lukewarm milk should help to get him sleepy. Sing lullabies or play soothing music just before bedtime to let him know that it is time to wind down. You can also read him a story once he gets into bed. Then switch off the lights and tell him that he needs to sleep now.
Ensure that everyone else in the house knows his bedtime routine and cooperates with you in maintaining it. Once he gets to know what is expected of him, he will be able to keep to this routine more effectively.
We thank the mothers below for their useful suggestions:
Revathi Phani Krishna, Sakshi Abbey Bhatnagar, Swati Shukla Mishra, Manali Langer, Surabhi Verma, Ramya Venkat, Shilpi Gupta, Shubha Murthy, Garima Grover, Pooja Rai, Mithu Ganguly, Sapna Chauhan, Dolly Omkar Jha, Joyce D’cunha De Souza, Keeya Chaudhuri, Sudeshna Patnaik, Akanksha Singh, Komal Vijayan, Deep Brinderjeet Saini, Shweta Dua, Akshaya Sampathkumar, Priya Candida, Sridevi Roshan, Dipali Phopse, Shiwangi Bist Joshi, Shiwangi Bist Joshi.
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Kanika Modi wrote to us and told us about a concern she has for her 7 month old son. She says that her son has lost his appetite and weight since a week. Also, he has loose motions, 10-15 times a day due to which the private area has turned red and the baby has become cranky and irritated. She is concerned and has asked us for some advice.
We asked our community of helpful moms for their suggestions and included their comments below.
If a child is ill, the first thing to do is take him to the doctor immediately to rule out any serious illnesses. Once your doctor has started treatment, you can use home remedies to make the child more comfortable.
Feed the child light foods – like dal pani, rice water, coconut water, apple or banana mash, a few spoons of pomegranate juice – that are easy to digest and will not cause discomfort. Give him ORS (boiled water with a pinch of salt and sugar) and lots of fluids to ensure that he does not get dehydrated because of the loose motions.
Apply a diaper rash cream, like Siloderm, Protectoderm or Mothercare rash cream, on the baby’s private parts to prevent the rash from getting worse. Avoid diapers. Apply coconut oil every so often for some relief from the rash. Wash the baby’s bottom with water instead of using tissues which can aggravate the rash.
If your child has started teething, it could cause some of these symptoms. For the baby’s tummy upsets while teething, you can start a homeopathic medicine called BC21, after taking your baby to a registered homeopathic physician. You can also start homeopathic calcium tablets, called Calcarea Phosphorica.
Rub mugli ghutti on the baby’s teeth regularly twice a day. Give your baby safe toys and teethers to chew on to relieve the pain of teething. You might also want to ask your pediatrician if your baby needs the rota virus vaccination.
We are grateful to all the parents below for their advice and feedback.
Rekha Subramanian, Dolly Singla Bansal,Yamini Arora, Avani Tippani, Ritu Dhingra, Bharti Mudgal, Bharath Kumar, Aishwarya Bharath Kumar, Kuheli Khan, Chandra Negi, DrRitika Gupta, Christine Tan, Poonam Ganesh, Vaishali Chitara, Revathi Phani Krishna, Jizza Sudharsan, Sarika Singh, Ragini Rai, Ratanjeet Kaur, Akanksha Sood Verma, Yamini Arora Kanika Malhotra , Bhaskar, Sabah Riaz, Harman Sehgal, Pallavi Dubey, ViroNica Virender Nisha, Rachana Nanavati, Aarpita Arora, Urvashi Rajan Puri, Anukaul Anand, Anukaul Anand, Janki Shah, Sapna Chauhan, Doc Shruti Bhargava, Smita Goswami Chakraborty, Sabbineni Sravanthi, Anvita Pant, Meenakshi Kimti Sharma, Devpriya Ekka, Jas Saini, Jas Saini, Neha Mehta, Shikha Khanduja Kaul, Astha Aggarwal, Priya Kulkarni, Anu Sabarish, Deepika Agrawal Gupta, Ruchi Sinha Shetty, Ramya Sriram, Aditi Jagtap Deshmukh, Manali Langer, Sharmila Chakravarty, Urvashi Rajan Puri, Vani Amarnath, Shobha Ojha, Sangeeta Chauhan Salve, Dolly Omkar Jha, Hetal Rana, Deepti Gautam Talwar.
Debolina Choudhury wrote to us and told us about a concern she has for her 2.5 years old daughter. She says that her daughter has got lice in her hair from playschool and applying Mediker has been of no help. She is concerned and has asked us for some advice.
We asked our community of moms for their suggestions and have incorporated it in the article below.
You can use Perlice cream – it is a very effective and popular lice remedy. Just read the manual and follow the instructions. It works wonders and you can say goodbye to lice.
Licil oil is another effective remedy available at most chemists. Just apply it, cover her hair with a scarf for an hour or so and wash with Mediker. For a more natural way to get rid of lice, try buttermilk and salt mixed in water. Gently rub her scalp with it and rinse thoroughly. Repeat after 7 to 8 days.
You can apply camphor in coconut oil. Leave it on for half an hour and use a fine comb to comb out the lice from the hair. Camphor stuns the lice and they lose their grip and can be combed out easily for up to half an hour. Follow it up with Mediker shampoo.
Neem oil is also a tried and tested home remedy for lice. Or you can make a neem paste and apply it in her hair for 10 to20 minutes. Grind tender neem leaves with a little sour curd. Apply on the scalp thoroughly and leave for few minutes. Rinse well with shampoo. Repeat this once a week for 4 washes.
You can also boil a few methi seeds in coconut oil on a low flame, store it and apply it on a regular basis as a preventative. It is also very good for hair growth. You can try a solution called Kesavardhini, found in the supermarket, in the oil that you use to apply daily.
There is a product called Jungle Formula, that helps elimination of lice as well as eggs. There is also a lotion called Scarab that does the same. You can try that also.
For a more drastic way to get rid of the lice altogether, you can just shave your daughter’s head.
Thanks to all the moms below for their wonderful suggestions.
Noorain Yayha, Lopamudra Nayak, Aradhana Mohapatra, Chandra Negi, Pooja Agrawal, Shruti Khanna Soin, Tejpreet Oberoi, Deepti Rahul Singh, Shreya Jiya Vijay, Hima Neeli, Inie Minie, Nishma Aggarwal, Sharmila Chakravarty, Sukoon Jethani Chopra, Toolika Bhatt Singhal, Priyanka Akash Khandelwal, Manisha Rahul Sonawane, Mohita Mathur, Shabana Shaikh, Kavita Mehta, Misha Bhattal, Subharthi Chakraborty, Geet Paryani, Elizabeth Chakma, Jeydevi Venkataraman, Swapna Sahoo.
Image source: naturalbugeliminator.wordpress.com
Nitu Singh wrote to us and told us about a concern she has for her son who is almost 4 years old. She says that he is violent and aggressive at home as well as in school and has also started hitting people wherever he goes. She wants to know how she can handle this behaviour of his. She is concerned and has asked us for some advice.
We asked our community of parents online for their advice and have incorporated their feedback below.
Although it is shocking, aggression can develop even in normal kids, who may react to fearful incidents or to other people with violence. A lot of the time it happens because kids are unable to express themselves in healthier ways, such as verbally.
Most kids outgrow such behaviour as they learn to express themselves verbally. However, this does not mean it is acceptable behaviour.
First, assess whether it is something in your child’s environment that is causing the aggression. Too much exposure to violent cartoons can cause behavioural changes in kids. Limit his exposure to television and any violent games or influences.
Ensure that he is not being abused, either physically or emotionally, by a maid or a member of the household. Ensure that you and your spouse are dealing with your differences in a healthy manner. If there is any abuse or violence in the household, the child will pick it up as acceptable.
Respond quickly to any aggressive or violent behaviour. Do not wait until it gets too bad and never lose your own temper. Stop your child calmly, but firmly, and give them a brief “time-out” to cool down. Remove them from any situations where they may cause harm to themselves or others.
Be consistent in setting limits. Do not give in at any time and never allow them to get away with hitting or any other acts of violence. Ensure that there are consequences, like missing out on fun with others, or taking away their games or toys until they calm down.
Try to get your child to talk about their frustrations when they have calmed down. Make a genuine attempt to understand what they are going through. You could also keep a behaviour chart and reward good behaviour with stars and a treat at the end of the week.
Make sure your child is expending his energy in a healthy way. Let him take up a sport, perhaps something that you can be part of, so that he vents in a healthy manner. Spending more quality time with your child may also help.
If all your efforts fail, take your child to a child psychologist for an evaluation.
Our thanks go out to all these helpful parents:
Puneet Wadhwani, Nivedita Poddar, Misha Bhattal, Pooja Ahuja, Vyona Lobo Ribeiro, Pooja W. Mazumder, Bharath Reddy, Madhusmita Mishra, Misha Bhattal, Aman Tiwari
Image courtesy of Photokanok / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Aditi Sharma wrote to us about a concern she has for her son. She says that her 2 year old son is coughing during the night. She says that all of a sudden he starts coughing nonstop and cries and vomits. His cough is a dry cough and sometimes his nose is runny.
She has been giving him expectorants and cough syrups as suggested by her pediatrician but it’s all in vain. She has also mentioned that the medicines are not helping. She is concerned for her baby’s health and has asked for some advice.
We approached our parent’s community for advice and have included their responses below.
There are many reasons why the medicines are not helping, but the most important fact is that the pediatrician needs to re-examine your child and try another approach. Sometimes the medicines take a few days to take effect, so be patient and continue the treatment that your doctor has prescribed.
You might want to try a home Nebulizer, but only on the doctor’s recommendation. This is a medical issue and it must be treated by a registered medical practitioner. You could try homeopathy for preventive care but it takes time to work, so allopathy is better in emergencies.
However, if you wish to try home remedies, along with the prescription medication, to soothe your child’s cough, you can try giving a spoon of honey with 2 or 3 pinches of turmeric powder mixed in it. The honey will soothe your child’s throat, while turmeric is renowned for its antiseptic properties.
You can mix one portion of ginger juice to 3 portions of honey and give one teaspoon after dinner. This will reduce dry cough. You can also boil 15 to 20 tulsi (Basil) leaves in a jar or water, filter it and feed the baby a little warm water whenever he asks for it.
Zinda Tilismath is an age old Unani herbal medicine, which is used for treating many common ailments like cold, coughs. Add 1 to 2 drops in half a cup of warm milk and feed it to your baby. Pankaj Kasthuri is an Ayurvedic medicine that you can try.
Take 2 Malabar nut leaves in a full cup of water and boil them until the water reduces to half. Then give this water to your child. Tie ajwain leaves in a cloth, warm it on a pan and then apply this on the chest.
Heat some mustard oil and add garlic and methi seeds. Filter and store in a jar. Apply some of this warm oil on your child’s feet after sleep. It keeps the baby warm and cures runny noses. You can also rub Vicks for children on his feet before sleep and cover the feet with socks. It helps a lot.
The cough could also be due to pollution or a dust allergy. Keep your child away from agarbattis, mosquito repellents, deodorant and perfume sprays, and avoid areas where construction and painting are being done.
Make sure your child is getting plenty of fresh air. Vacuum the house regularly and dry his bed clothes, mattress and comforter in the sun every day.
We wish to thank all these helpful parents:
Azaad Chaturvedi, Krithika Vijay, Jyotsana Verma, Neha Jalan Agarwal, Akipeed Lawar Magin, Akipeed Lawar Magin, Rose Hu Quadros, Esha Gosain, Lavanya Reddy, Aqueela Syeda, Namrata Thakur, Amitava Pathak, Mainka Vig, Inderpreet Kaur, Neha Dutta, Nandini Rathore, Krithika Vijay, Joyeeta Dasgupta, Janki Shah, Esha Gosain, Poonam Chauhan, Lavanya Reddy, Maseera Husain Ahmed, Shruti Goyal, Niloufer Sharma Mahajan, Bhawna Rai, Sujata Kalandi, Papiya Dawn, Papiya Dawn, Poonam Tejwani, Sonal Singh, Preety Anup Dimri, Amruta Shetty, Kiran Singh, Kirti Jethava, Jheyabharathi Soundararajan, Anitha Thomas, Amruta Shetty, Aditi Sharma, Payal Jain, Sonal Singh, Neha Kharkar, Davneet Kaur, Sheenam Mehra Gupta, Paras Bagchi, Shweta Rustgi Gupta, Ravneet Shahi, Deep Brinderjeet Saini, Deepti Dani.
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Sana Khowaja wrote to us about a concern she has for her 4 month old baby boy. She says that she uses diapers 24×7 and would like to know if this is harmful to her baby. She is concerned for her baby’s health and has asked for some advice.
We asked our community of moms what they thought about this issue and have compiled their replies below.
When your child is very young, a lot of parents like using disposable diapers because of the convenience. This can not only be expensive for you but is also harmful to the environment.
There are also harmful chemicals present in diapers and some of these can be absorbed through your child’s delicate skin and can also cause rashes and allergies, so make sure you are using a good quality brand of disposable diaper.
Changing over to cloth diapers might be a better way to make a healthier choice for both, your baby and the environment. Organic cloth diapers are expensive, but they come with microfiber inserts and fit all sizes.
Using disposables 24×7 can also make it more difficult to potty train your child. It might be a good idea to use diapers only at night, when you want to get an uninterrupted sleep, or when going out, or if it is rainy or too cold, or if an older child is unwell and may wet the bed.
You can also use a Quick Dry bed protector along with the cloth diaper. During the day you could lay the baby on this mat without a diaper, because the mat soaks wetness and keeps the baby dry. It will also give your baby’s skin some breathing time. At night, apply coconut oil or Himalaya rash cream to avoid rashes.
Thanks to all these parents for their great advice:
Anshu Duggal, Sakeena Ali, Vijayalakshmi Shanmugam, Jayita Sen Singha, Sangeeta Apoorv, Shuchita Gupta, Papiya Dawn, Fathima Sabana Fuad, Mary Niangliankim Zo, Parita Shah, Jaya Singhal Goyal, Vani Amarnath, Neha Kshitij Sagar, Nirmi Bisht, Amanpreet Bawa, Suman Singh, Sarika Singh, Amanpreet Bawa, Sarla Amit Kumar, Siya Borkar, Kaitki Nandan, Bindu Satish Nair, Padmavathi Meduri, Spanish Harlem, Ashwini Athani, Ashu Khatter, Anurita Ghosh Vagal, Pallabi Goswami Sarma Shachi Nilesh Atharv, Priyanka Darda, Siddhi Sharma, Christina Harijan, Vijaya Reddy, Sunita V. Patil, Sudeshna Patnaik, Pallabi Goswami Sarma, Sangeeta Apoorv, Neha Kshitij Sagar, Srila Panda, Shwetha Phaneendra, Rachna Kaul, Neha Kumra, Nainaysh Ibrath, Renauld Susanna, Ruchi Ravi Purwar, Priya Candida, Anupriya Bagga, Nassia Jasmine, JJ Sonia Kathet, Deepa Kanhere Takalkar, Aman Tiwari, Swapnila Sameer More, Rakesh Pahari, Swati Agarwalla, Jasmeet Kaur
Image courtesy of photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Swati Shukla Mishra wrote to us and asked us a question concerning her baby boy. She wants to know how many times a massage is required for her 10 month old baby, whose legs are still not straight. We asked our community of mothers about this and incorporated their responses into the advice below.
The first thing to remember is that all babies are born with bow legs, and it’s not unusual for bow legs to be present even at two years of age. If, however, the condition persists till three years, you should take the child to a paediatrician to rule out any developmental abnormalities.
In case of rickets, the child would be suffering from a deficiency of vitamin D and calcium, so adequate sun exposure is important, preferable in the morning, in addition to any supplementation that your paediatrician suggests. However, in a child as young as 10 months, this condition is likely to be a part of normal growth and development.
There is no need to massage the child’s, but there is no harm either. If you want to massage your child, you can do it once or twice a day before the baby’s bath. Use olive oil and be gentle with your touch and pressure.
Thanks to these parents for their feedback:
Shokhi Agarwal, Sneha Rungta, Vidita Tayal, Sonal Chaurasia, Anita Seemar Mahi, Sommya Singh, Jyoti Rathi Toshniwal, Radha Mishra, Lavanya Reddy, Harman Sehgal, Vidita Tayal, Manisha Vij, Aman Tiwari, Srivimal Srivimal, Tarun Kesarwani, Ratnasree Saha Chakraborti, Vani Amarnath, Puneet Gurpreet Sethi, Preeti Jain, Gurbaksh Singh, Archana Srivastav, Shweta Rustgi Gupta, Sorbhi Mehra, Christina Harijan, Navita Sadani, Shilpa Vishal Ranjan, Annu Pattnaik, Malini Sircar, Poonam Gupta Yadav, Priyadarshini baidya, Bhavini Master, Pallavimahesh Halawai, Bhaskar Jayaram, Bhavini Master.
Sindhuja Pradeep Kumar wrote to us and told us about her 7 month old daughter who doesn’t like to drink water. She says that her daughter just spits the water out and starts crying if you try to feed her water. She is otherwise healthy but Mrs. Kumar is worried about this habit of her little girl’s and asked us for some advice.
We approached our community of mothers and asked them what they thought she should do about it. Here is what they said.
Do not force your child to drink water. She will form an unpleasant association with it. You could instead try putting mishri (crystallized sugar lumps), honey or palm candy in the water and reduce it over a period of time, or give your child fresh fruit juice instead of water. You can also soak khajur (dates) overnight, filter them and feed them to the baby.
Try boiling saunf (fennel seeds), mulethi (liquorice) or dalchini (cinnamon) in water to add some flavour. You could also wash a leaf of tulsi in her water bottle. It is healthy and might get her to try it out of curiosity. You can put roasted ajwain in boiled water, filter it and give it to your baby. You could also use Electral if they like the taste.
Ask all family members to drink water in front of the baby and say good things about it. Babies love to observe and imitate their parents. Also use a sipper cup as they might not like drinking water from a feeding bottle.
Thanks to all these helpful parents:
Bhawna Walia, Rutika Sevak Upadhyay, Nisha Sood, Sonal Kapur Sinha, Anita Arun, Jyoti Rathi Toshniwal, Roshani Hitesh Patel, Vinita Yadav, Jyoti Rathi Toshniwal, Rucha Kamble Shedge, Shikha Sourabh Dixit, Parul Sinha, Amtul AS, N Mukesh Vyas, Richa Arora, Sonal Maner, Nidhi Karan Garg, Anamika Mishra Jha, Brindha Karthikeyan, Brindha Karthikeyan, Rashmi Keshri, Vijayalakshmi Shanmugam, Arshiya Khan, Lavanya Reddy, Shilpa Munagavalasa, Neha Saxena, Greeshma Rahul, Pooja Suresh, Swati Shukla Mishra, Radhika Dhanrajani, Tejpreet Oberoi, Alice Bathija.
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
She says that despite trying everything she is unable to stop her daughter from doing so. She is concerned for her daughter’s wellbeing and has asked for advice.
We put this query to our community of experienced moms and this is the advice they gave us.
Try rubbing some Pudin Hara on her thumb. The strong taste could make her stop sucking. You can also apply neem paste on the thumb as the bitter taste will prevent her from sucking it.
Castor oil or mustard seed paste also works for it’s bad taste. Apply coconut oil for the swollen thumb. You could also try homeopathy as there are medicines to stop this habit.
Try to get your child into the habit of using a soother or teether toys instead of her thumb as thumb-sucking can also become more embarrassing for her as she grows. Distract your child with a toy or put something into her hand when she does this. Or tie a cloth around her hand to discourage her.
You could put some fear of the consequences of thumb sucking into your little one’s mind. For instance, stories of thumbs getting cut off because of sucking might scare them into stopping altogether. But make sure you tell them the truth later.
Make sure she is not feeling insecure as thumb-sucking could be a sign that she is feeling neglected. Give her the attention she needs at this age. It is also a comforting habit at the time of teething. Or she may be hungry or need soothing.
All in all, thumb sucking is not really a big concern and goes away as the child grows up. Preventing it could cause her to repress her feelings, which is not healthy.
Thanks to all these super-helpful parents:
Pooja Sharma, Ankita Chandra, Amardeep Kaur Kaur, Ankita Chandra, Ankita Chandra, Swati Mohapatra, Narinder Kaur Hanspal, Yogitha Sundar, Vijaya Reddy, MaKaa Kabilan, Swati Mohapatra, Garima Grover, Yogitha Sundar, Arina Singh, PraTika NarVekar, Subhrajyoti Chakrabarti, Safina Ahmed, Appasamy Pradeep, Saman Farooqui, Ramzia Mohiuddin, Priya Tamang, Solomon Palani, Ramzia Mohiuddin, Nitin Motdhare, Aaparna Das Mohanty, Manvi Suri, Niharika Bedi Bilochi, Supreetkaur Arya, Kirti Jethava, Kavitha Kavi, Harkirat Singh Bedi, Ankita Chaubey, Sakina A Burhani, Sakina A Burhani, JJ Sonia Kathet.
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
It went away but left her eye swollen and now her left eye is infected and the green mucus is coming out throughout the day. She is concerned for her daughter’s wellbeing and has asked for some advice.
We asked our community of moms for advice and these are the suggestions they came back with.
Don’t waste time in taking the child to a good doctor. Do this as soon as possible. Your doctor may prescribe eye drops to help clear the infection. If one eye is infected, the other one is bound to get infected.
You can also clean your child’s eyes with cotton dipped in clean water. Or you can use warm water to clean the child’s eyes.
Thanks to the moms below who made the time and effort to give their valuable advice:
Jyoti Dixit, Ishita Bishnoi, Arti S. Peter, Rekha Vaz, Garima Grover, Vanela Kohli, Nivedita Bose Chakraborty, Alekhya Suresh, Siya Borkar, Amrita Singh, Bhavana Shukla, Annavarapu Ahuja, Aditi Sharma, Sangeeta Apoorv, Sharmila Chakravarty, Christina Harijan, Janki Shah, Monika Guleria Mukheja, Sewanti Ghosh
Image courtesy of Clare Bloomfield / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Mommy Nidhi Mehta faces a lot of problems while traveling by flight as her 13 month old baby cries due to the air pressure. We asked mums and dads to share their tips and advices with us to help her out. She’s planned a holiday and is worried about the journey!
- Here’s what the many mums and dads on our SOS Mom forum had to say:
- Give a bottle of milk/juice/water just before takeoff and landing. The sucking helps to ease the pressure in the ears.
- Feed baby DURING take off AND landing.
- If there is an empty seat next to you put the baby in it during the flight. Let baby lie flat on the back and keep patting slowly. Continue reading →