Anger is the barrier that kids use to separate themselves from their parents and the outside world when they are emotionally hurt and upset. As a parent, you must look to putting down the first instinct of slapping our kid when you are confronted by a temper tantrum and instead look at the problem calmly. It would be wise if you could put down your own angry feelings and push them out of the window while dealing with an angry child. Many people advocate many ways of controlling an angry child and while some prefer you holding your baby while he/she calms down; some prefer just ignoring the tantrum and letting the child calm down before you sit down and talk to him/her. Here is what you can consider:
Stay calm and composed
Remember, you are supposed to be the more mature among the two. So, it obviously will not help if you go around screaming at double the pitch your child uses just to show him who’s the boss. You must not relent or lose your cool under any circumstance. Your child is probably bewildered and frightened and will use anger and shrieks to demonstrate this loss of self control. But, you need to be patient and respect his emotions. It is okay for your child to indulge in temper tantrums in order to assert himself but, it is highly detestable if you, being an adult indulge in the same over-the-top method while dealing with your child. Communication and understanding are the key factors here and please keep this in mind that violence will make the problem worse than it already is and hence, no hitting and spanking the child at any cost!
Let him calm down
Tempers do not last long especially in toddlers. They are majorly in full flow for perhaps, a minute or two before they start wobbling and clinging back to you. Make all efforts to calm down your angry kid and keep stroking him/her and hold them close to you. Very soon, the shrieks will turn into sobs and they find it astonishing that you still love and care for them inspite of the tantrum. After he calms down, maybe you can go for a quiet walk in the park or have some heart to heart conversation where you firmly tell your child that you will not budge no matter how hard he tries and that temper tantrums are a waste of time. When he realises that all his crying and howling is in vain, he will probably back out from putting up more tantrums.
Prevent tantrums as much as possible
Look for repititive signs in your child’s temper patterns. It is likely that your child is the most cranky when he did not have a good night’s sleep or ate his meals late or worse didn’t eat at all. You must avoid erratic changes in the child’s pattern so that your toddler is the most comfortable emotionally and mentally. Some kids get turned on when they visit the toy store or the shopping mall and they want to buy the whole store if you could. Expect the most horrible of tantrums there. As a punishment, you could go there a few times all by yourself to the toy store and let him know that he wasn’t taken because you were apprehensive about him creating a scene at the shop.
Lighten up the atmosphere with a funny comment
When your child is angry and refuses to talk to you, you could make him laugh by just going over and tickling him all over. Oh, kids love physical contact and you’ll hear the same peals of laughter and within seconds your toddler will be normal again. Also, you could talk to your spouse in a funny way with a lot of jokes that he is aware of and expect him to laugh over it. One mother I knew was dealing with her son who was in one of his ‘moods’ and exasperated she told him, “You are such a little moppet!” When she expected another round of screaming, her son suddenly rolled out laughing and she realised that he hadn’t heard the word before. Kids have this habit of forgetting anger and sadness over laughing and use this to your best advantage when you think your child has lost it.